We each have these imperative moments that we reach in our lives. Often, for some, it occurs earlier than later. For others...it takes years upon years to reach that place. But we all reach that place. We all come to the point where we know, inside the depths of our hearts, that things must change. This want for change is like nothing you've ever experienced before. There truly is a different form of energy to it. There is a different feeling to it altogether.
You must do the most scary thing you will ever do - face your greatest nightmare...yourself.
My moment showed up in late 2011 and it was not by choice. I remember standing in that apartment, hearing words that I would never forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I modified everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did anything and everything I could. In the final analysis, I'll never forget that feeling of turning to ashes. It really wasn't just the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was really the whole stacking up of dry leaves and hay from many years of neglect...and that tiny match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the start, 7 days later, it reached its low point. Absolutely rock bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that completely black dark room, it wasn't granted, and I woke up the next day looking at a crumbled landscape...with the understanding that I could reconstruct my complete world the way I wanted it.
But I would have to face myself.
Just as importantly, I would really need burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would find out how to support myself for once, to not blame everything on others, to be fully responsible for my whole entire life, and to finally let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the amazing things in you from ever reaching any person out there looking to love you. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Agony was kept away from me...joy stayed covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding ran from my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over completely.
I did exactly that. I started writing. I started being honest about what was going on with me. I built everything back, brick by brick on a different foundation. My spine and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I could create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are afraid to go, here's where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark leaking type of pain which will shock you to death. It shocks you because it makes you think that if you go there you'll get caught in it and drown. The truth of the matter is, this is where your strength is. There's unimaginable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there is strength in great and deep faith and light, there's equal amounts of strength in going to that place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this kind of belief in yourself that's beyond confidence. It's the type of feeling that you know that everything around you could be destroyed, and you could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
True power.
"Take from me everything world, and I am going to come back and build it back better...and regardless of how you challenge me...I may continue to shine. "
Face your scariest nightmare. Face your fears. Don't be afraid to let everything go for the great opportunity to build it back better. Desire love in your life? You're going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that is impedeing you. You're going to have to dive deep down into the abyss of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering sword. No armor. No weapon. No effort to rise up above it.
You need to go in exposed and fully exposed.
You'll come out. You can cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I would never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't actually come out of. I promise you, this is the one place you must go for everything to release. To build something new, to begin living the grandest adventure you might ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I promise you...this place, is where life starts.
You must do the most scary thing you will ever do - face your greatest nightmare...yourself.
My moment showed up in late 2011 and it was not by choice. I remember standing in that apartment, hearing words that I would never forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I modified everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did anything and everything I could. In the final analysis, I'll never forget that feeling of turning to ashes. It really wasn't just the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was really the whole stacking up of dry leaves and hay from many years of neglect...and that tiny match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the start, 7 days later, it reached its low point. Absolutely rock bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that completely black dark room, it wasn't granted, and I woke up the next day looking at a crumbled landscape...with the understanding that I could reconstruct my complete world the way I wanted it.
But I would have to face myself.
Just as importantly, I would really need burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would find out how to support myself for once, to not blame everything on others, to be fully responsible for my whole entire life, and to finally let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the amazing things in you from ever reaching any person out there looking to love you. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Agony was kept away from me...joy stayed covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding ran from my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over completely.
I did exactly that. I started writing. I started being honest about what was going on with me. I built everything back, brick by brick on a different foundation. My spine and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I could create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are afraid to go, here's where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark leaking type of pain which will shock you to death. It shocks you because it makes you think that if you go there you'll get caught in it and drown. The truth of the matter is, this is where your strength is. There's unimaginable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there is strength in great and deep faith and light, there's equal amounts of strength in going to that place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this kind of belief in yourself that's beyond confidence. It's the type of feeling that you know that everything around you could be destroyed, and you could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
True power.
"Take from me everything world, and I am going to come back and build it back better...and regardless of how you challenge me...I may continue to shine. "
Face your scariest nightmare. Face your fears. Don't be afraid to let everything go for the great opportunity to build it back better. Desire love in your life? You're going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that is impedeing you. You're going to have to dive deep down into the abyss of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering sword. No armor. No weapon. No effort to rise up above it.
You need to go in exposed and fully exposed.
You'll come out. You can cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I would never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't actually come out of. I promise you, this is the one place you must go for everything to release. To build something new, to begin living the grandest adventure you might ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I promise you...this place, is where life starts.
About the Author:
Evan Sanders is the author of The Words Of Encouragement, a website dedicated to bringing the best quotes, motivational content on the web, and blogs all to one place. Need some more motivation and encouragement to keep moving forward? Dig into these life is too short quotes for a little bit of perspective on why you should drag yourself out of the darkness.
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